he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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