I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
