She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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