I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
