He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
