Don't you send me to vm
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
