Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
