im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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