My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
