I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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