Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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