I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
