The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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