Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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