Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
