that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
