How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
