..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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