did you get engaged???
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
