i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
