Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize