Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
