The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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