Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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