the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize