he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
