a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
