Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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