yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
