Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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