Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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