I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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