you guys were way drunker than both of me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
