I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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