Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
