You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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