trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
