Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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