i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
