my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
