So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
