sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
