just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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