Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
