Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
