Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
