Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
