I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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