AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
