I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
