just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
