does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
