GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
