We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
