I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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