You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
