Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's like heaven, but drunker
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
