I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I love you.
Bad choice
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