She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
