Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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