Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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