Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
