Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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